


Despair

by mindless_indulgence



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindless_indulgence/pseuds/mindless_indulgence
Summary: Castiel proclaims his love to Dean, but a mysterious (not really) powerful force saves him from being taken by The Empty.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66





	Despair

**Author's Note:**

> So here’s a quick dabble on a HEA for my girl Margalida on Twitter.  
> I haven’t even seen the episode so if the quick and cheap set-up for the fic is all wrong, send me a message and I’ll change it.  
> I considered adding an actual sex scene but it felt out of character; if those guys really loved each other, they probably wouldn’t instantly jump each other’s bones (maybe if Cas was a woman, but even then I think Dean would respect her too much), although I loved the idea of one of them doing research on gay porn to learn what goes where, and Sammy walking in on that and being like 1000% done with the Destiel happening in the bunker.

“Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared,”

“I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?” Dean responds.

“I love you,” Cas adds.

The Empty shows up.

“Goodbye, Dean.”

The Empty appears, and reaches for Cas. 

**_Suddenly, tunnel of white light rips through time and space, with a deafening screech like a million voices protest in agony._**

* * *

Slowly regaining conscience again, Dean and Castiel find themselves alone, with no trace left The Empty or Billy having ever been there.

“What the hell was that? Chuck?” 

Dean grabs Castiel’s shoulder, as if to make sure he is really, really there.  
The angel is shellshocked. It takes him a while to form an answer. 

“No, I think – that was something _bigger_.” 

* * *

The next few days after that in the bunker are fundamentally weird.  
Dean is not sure how to act around Cas. No one really has ever declared their love to him.

Well, Sam did, high on drugs, but that was definitely very different.

He knows Cas didn’t mean it like _that_. Sure, the dude finally got laid a while ago, and a few times after that too, but he still doesn’t strike him as someone who considers the special perks of his human body as especially important.

Hell, even Sam has gone for a long while after their ridiculous virginity pledge until he did the backseat tango again.  
Still, it is awkward to talk to Cas or be alone in a room with him, after he put something into words that has remained unspoken for so long.  


After more days of unease smiles and stilted conversations, Castiel softly knocks on Dean’s room where he’s watching Netflix, and addresses the elephant in the room.

“Dean, I won’t apologize for what I have said, as it was spoken true, but I am sorry that it put you in an uncomfortable situation. I haven’t nor do I have now any kind of – _he blushes_ – expectations from you. I still am an angel, and the, uhm, physical side of affection isn’t as naturally connected to the emotional as it is for most of the humans.” 

If Dean hadn’t known him for over a decade, he would’ve missed the brief flash of hurt on the gentle face of the angel.  
And it breaks his heart a little, because Cas has got it right, but for the wrong reasons.  
Dean isn’t concerned about Cas having expectations he wouldn’t meet because he’s a guy. He is simply overwhelmed.  
Unable to stand the misery in the angel’s face, Dean gets up, pulling him into a hug. 

“I am kinda still dealing with the fact that we almost lost you for good. I – you know I’m not good at this. But you don’t have anything to apologize for.” 

But then Dean misses the moment of letting go before its too late, and now they are just standing there holding each other.  
It should feel awkward and weird, but somehow it isn’t. It’s warmth and serenity and _home_ , and suddenly Dean couldn’t find one fuck to give over the fact that Cas is technically a dude. 

Tentatively he puts a hand to his face, softly stroking over his cheek with a thumb, getting lost in those impossible blue eyes. 

Cas sighs, leans into the touch, and something cold and brittle inside of Dean’s chest just melts away. 

Slowly Dean leans in, softly placing his lips on the angel’s. 

It’s barely a kiss, and yet nothing like anything he has ever felt.  
Kissing, making out, having sex, it has always been a rushed, heated, urged affair for him. Here, he feels no need to satisfy a desire, he is merely bathing in the warm affection he feels. 

Cas stands perfectly still, like he is afraid to move a muscle, to bring this fragile moment to an early end. 

Dean moves his other hand lightly to his hip, pulling him a bit closer, assuring him that it is ok, that he’s not going to push him away. It is so much easier to express his feelings like this, to let his body find the way to show Cas what he means to him.  
Cas finally dares to put one hand on Dean’s shoulder, and the other on his waist, tentatively at first, then slowly gripping him more tightly, holding him like he’s never going to be able to let go again. 

Placing soft kisses on Castiel’s mouth and cheek, Dean breathes in his scent, which is unlike anything human words could describe. You could say he smells heavenly, Dean thinks, and can’t help to snort a laugh.  
Cas gives him a confused look, but Dean just smiles and kisses him more. 

When the angel gently starts to lick on his lower lip, the speed of his bodily reaction comes to him like a shock. 

Apparently this wouldn’t be as big as an issue he thought it would be.  
To catch his breath and compose himself, Dean extracts himself from Cas with a last peck on the lips, and takes a large gulp out of the bottle of water on his nightstand. 

Castiel sits down on his bed, clearly a bit shaken. 

“I didn’t expect this when I came here.”

“I didn’t either. But I don’t regret it, not a little bit. -  
He sits next to the angel, taking his hand.  
\- I suppose we just roll with it and see where it takes us.” 

* * *

Castiel listens to Dean’s soft breathing, the occasional little snore. It’s endearing, and he could happily listen to it for eternity.  
They lie in bed together, holding each other tightly, and even in his sleep, Dean won’t let go of the embrace.

They haven’t done much last night. Castiel has been a bit afraid that Dean might regret kissing him after realizing that Castiel was in a most definitely male body. But it has all felt so natural. 

There has been soft kissing and slowly discovering each other’s bodies with tentative hands.  
Cas knew that actual ‘making love’ would be a first time for either of them, there was no need to rush into it. They had time. Finally, they had time. 

Dean wakes up, looking adorably tousled and confused. It takes him a moment to put together why he’s cuddled up to Cas, one leg possessively thrown over him and a hand on his bare chest. 

“Are you all right Dean? It didn’t look like you had a nightmare.” 

“I’m not going to comment on you watching me sleep. Personal space flew out of the bunker now anyway. No, I’m just thirsty.” 

He grabs for his bottle, but it’s empty.  
Cas carefully extracts himself from the embrace, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. 

“I’ll get you some water.” 

Dean makes a happy grunt, and holds on to his hand for a moment, until he turns around and snuggles deeper under the covers. 

One step out of the room, Castiel runs into Sam, who’s carrying a cup of warm milk and an ancient looking tome. 

Sam’s eyes grow comically big as he sees Castiel leaves Dean’s room, only dressed in pyjama pants and probably having a hickey on his collar bone. 

“Uhm, hello Sam. This isn’t how you’re supposed to learn about it, but- “ 

“Wait, **you** and **Dean**?” 

His eyes dart between Cas and the book he is holding. 

“I guess that somehow makes a lot of sense.” 

“What?”

“Not so important. Well, ah, I am really happy for you. And that my room is the other hallway.” 

Castiel blushes deeply, and Sam relishes in the easy laugh that bubbles up in him.  
They were all in dire need of something good and light in this home. 

“Well, I have some research to finish, you two have a good night.” 

* * *

_Epilogue_

Sam is sitting with the ‘ **S** pacenatural **H** yper **I** nterdimensional **P** rayers’ tome and his laptop in the library. He followed a hunch that proved itself faster than he’d expected, and now he just wanted to tie up some loose ends.  
Wording his search request very carefully, he doesn’t realize that Jack is standing behind him. 

“What’s a Destiel?” 

Sam quickly closes the laptop. 

“I’ll tell you if you promise that you never google it, especially not in the pictures results.”


End file.
